It’s Tuesday, and it’s like a million degrees out. All I wanted was something cold from the vending machine. I don’t ask much.

I walk out of my office and down the hall to the building’s community vending machines. I look at the selection of fluids and decide that some sort of cold energy drink would be totally sweet right now. So I reach into my wallet, take out my funds, deposit them into the machine… and click E9.

After a second or so, two of the little gates holding the bottles back clicked open and spew two cans of “Full Throttle” energy drink on to the little conveyor belt that carries the purchase to the shoot. I was like “whoa… jackpot!” and watched them drop into the opening that delivers the purchase to me.

Then, thinking that this must be some sort of special or something, I put in some more money and clicked the same set of buttons. To my surprise, it did it again. Two cans of energy drink fell down on to the conveyor belt and began to be delivered to me. But, there was a big problem this time. One of the previous cans had become lodged between the exit slot and one of the channels holding more drinks. As the little belt driven shelf came up, it ripped the can open and covered the inside of the machine with energy drink.

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I’m not bubbling with excitement to be back in the office today. I feel like the past five weekends have been so busy that I never really had much time to chill. So, being monday (again), I’m feeling a little bit like I’m done with this week already.

Well, what can one do to improve one’s attitude at work? That’s simple… make ice cream sandwiches! I just ran out and grabbed a gallon of Cookie Dough ice cream and bag of chocolate Chip Cookies and announced it was “make your own ice cream sandwich day”. There was a veritable stampede. Good stuff.

Now, two sandwiches and a bowl of ice cream later, I feel like it may actually turn out to be “get sick in the bathroom after a major sugar rush” day. Yikes. I can feel my heart pounding and I feel like cornholio from Beavis and Butthead. I could push the limit and get a NOS energy drink from the vending machine, but I’m not certain I’d survive.

Speaking of NOS, we (Jamie G and I) made what could arguably be the worlds first Office NOS can wind chime. The design is a little cheesy, and is basically an empty NOS can taped to a desk, but it’s a wind chime to us. Now all we need is a little breeze in here to make it chime (bang against the desk).

What the hell is wrong with us?